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Things I hate most of all in the world:

(If your opinion differs from mine, congratulations—all the more for you.)


In food

green beans

boiled onion

mayonnaise not made in Russia

selery

licorice candy

marzipan candy

Hematogen (Russian blood candy)

eggplant caviar

whipped cream from a can

aspic

red, yellow and green peppers

chocolate: pastries, cake and ice cream


In drinks

tea in bags

instant coffee

beer (any kind)

flavored beer (cherry, etc.)

tequila

sweet, semi-sweet and white wine

rum

pepsi

tomato juice

sweet kefir


In day-to-day life

when people wrap the remote control with a plastic cover

when people towel-dry the dishes

when people wet the broom in the toilet bowl

when people brush their teeth with soap

when people don’t put the cap back on the toothpaste

when people empty out the ashtray after every butt

when the ashtray is wet

when people cut their nails over a carpet

when people are irritated by the position of the toilet seat

when people drink beer while walking down the street

when pants have a button fly instead of a zipper


In things

electric kettles

microwaves

drip coffee machines

food processors (especially hate)

crystalware

varnished china cabinets

anything Gzhel, Palekh or Khokhloma


In [pop-]culture

disco

metal

Russian romances

country

Disney characters

special holiday concerts

musicals

television plays

opera, operettas and ballet

karaoke

when the popcorn ends before the pre-movie commercials do


In poetry

poems


In religion

everything


In general

night clubs

dance parties

banquets

receptions

cocktail parties

presentations


In the metaphysical

feng shui

occultism

astrology

everything that starts with “para-”


In the sky

the sun


In the city

air conditioners on buildings facades

split-system ACs as a category

insulated window units

99.9% of typefaces and signs


On radio and television

hemming and hawing

morning television shows with all their goddamn gay cheer


Superlatively

the word “elite”

the word “exclusive”

the word “VIP”


In speech

the phrase “in the words of the poet”


On women

lipstick

powder

blush

glitter

mascara

mini-skirts

hats


On the Internet

when a link opens a new browser window without my express permission

when a banner links somewhere other than advertised

chatrooms

Whatsapp

guestbooks (the genre became extinct while I was busy hating it)

forums

SEO and other optimization specialists

“back to the top” links

popups, ads or otherwise

88×31 gifs with advertisements from friends, partners and sponsors

animated gifs

flash animations which just consist of something moving around the screen

I absolutely despise personal home pages and their authors


In computers

Russian keyboard layouts where all the punctuation marks require using the Shift key

when people don’t use the numerical keypad on the right side of the keyboard

the fact that it’s impossible to open a file created a year ago and click “Undo”

the noise of the computer fan

the USB symbol


In email

when people use email templates with pictures

when people copy your entire email in their response, instead of just the specific part they’re responding to

when people leave mailing list footers in their reply


In cellphones

any audible ringtones (especially polyphonic ones)


This list is updated on a regular basis and should in no way be considered complete.



 

© 1995–2025 Artemy Lebedev
Electromail: tema@tema.ru