Rivethnoexp. Part IV. Ulyanovsk, Tolyatti
July On the weekends, all the access roads to the Volga are studded with parked cars. Everyone comes out to swim.  UlyanovskMapA city with fairly soulless modern architecture.  Old buildings are few and far between, covered with a layer of dust, and not exactly showered with attention.  The home of the Kartashev merchant family. Built in the late 18th century, remodeled in the early 20th century. The Modern Film Theater opened its doors in this building in 1908 Everything’s sort of like this:  9 Dmitry Ulyanov St. (formerly Sennaya St.). 400 m2 for sale On the plus side, there’s a tram with free Wi-Fi.  Free Internet in this tram An interesting detail about Ulyanovsk: the route numbers on all the shuttles stand out very visibly against the original factory bodies of the GAZelle minibuses.  Half the sidewalks have been rather shoddily paved with paving blocks. The process continues.  And all the curbs in the city have been painted red and black. As if Lenin had just died. (The city is named after Lenin, whose real last name was Ulyanov.)  All the tree grates are made of plastic—so that they don’t get stolen for scrap metal.  The manhole covers are also plastic. Also to prevent theft.  Ulyanovsk is an exceptional city. Even the sculptures here are plastic. There must be such a serious metal recycling plant nearby that people simply can’t resist selling everything they can get their hands on. Instead of having a nice metal ring to them, the sculptures sound dull and lifeless.  Novelties on the traffic sign front. A clarification has been added: it’s a schoolboy crossing the street. What’s more, he’s a hundred times more difficult to make out than the standard pictogram.  But scanning speed is not a top priority for the creative minds of the Ulyanovsk Traffic Safety Inspectorate. Let the driver devote some time to studying the message and mulling it over.  Driver! Be attentive in places with high concentrations of pedestrians Pedestrians haven’t been forgotten, either. They, too, have reminders and poems waiting for them at traffic lights. “For the sake of life’s creations, obey traffic regulations!” Beautiful, no?  For the sake of life’s creations, obey traffic regulations! Traffic regulations—the rules of life But the traffic lights (from Belarus) are indeed fantastic here. When the green turn arrow isn’t lit, a red circle lights up instead.  In every other city in our fair homeland, drivers are supposed to deduce that they can’t turn because the green arrow isn’t lit. Whether or not it’s out of order, or whether one even exists is also entirely up to the driver to decide.  A trash can.  Not a trash can.  Do not throw trash in the flower pot! A payphone.  Charred household items on display at the Fire Museum. Some semblance of a new idea, at least.  At the Lenin House Museum, where little Vladimir grew up, everything is simple and unassuming. My favorite part was the settle in the hallway. I want one just like it for my own house. Only with seat cushions.  TolyattiMapI’d really like to find something nice to say about Tolyatti, but I’m drawing a complete blank. I mean, the best I can do is to say that it reminds me of Naberezhnye Chelny. But that’s hardly a compliment.  The entire city consists of drab panel buildings. The buildings have ACs attached to the outside. The ACs have diagonally attached power cables. The patched cracks on the panels follow the same angle as the cables. And that’s all there is to Tolyatti.  There are no old buildings here at all. The oldest one is below, covered with nasty vinyl siding:  A dumpster.  An advertising bulletin board by an apartment building entrance.  Municipal Advertising. Advertisements. Classifieds Information on the entrance’s canopy. 
Entrance 2, apts. A bulletin board in the courtyard.  Our courtyard’s information stand Rusty Brezhnev-era metal carnations still hang from the lampposts.  A bench with a trash can.  Another bench with a trash can.  A trash can. Notice that all the trash cans have legs which allow them to tilt.  A trash can with an unbelievable leg design. The most stable leg design on the entire planet.  A bit of urban beauty.  A former payphone.  Saleswomen.  Graffiti.  I’ve seen your grandma naked As my Russian readers will know, Tolyatti is the place where Lada brand cars are manufactured. This doesn’t stop other brands from advertising and selling their cars on every corner.  Another useless PSA against corruption stands in the woods. Its creation and placement were undoubtedly a great money-laundering opportunity for everyone who was able to get in on the action.  Corruption is a crime! Punishment is inevitable Is there really not a single notable thing in Tolyatti? No, of course that’s not true. There’s one lonely old street post. Judging by the hatch, it used to have electrical wiring inside. Judging by the design, it can’t be older than 1940. Perhaps once, in its youth, it supported a streetlight. Or a traffic light. Or the town clock. Miraculously, its stump still stands on the corner. This was the only thing worth seeing here. But I don’t think half a street post makes a compelling enough reason for the reader to visit Tolyatti. And there isn’t anything else worth coming for.  * * * In most of the cities where we stopped, yacht clubs are equipped with water faucets (so you can refill the boat’s tank) and power outlets (so as not to run down the battery, and for general use). The parking rates in different places vary from 100 rubles ($3) a day per meter of the boat’s length to 500 rubles ($17) an hour. Some places have a gas station, some have people who bring in barrels of fuel, some have nothing.  |
