Guatemala. Part I. Main details

December 30, 2010 — January 3, 2011

Every self-respecting Guatemalan woman has to get at least one gold crown after a certain age (any healthy tooth will do for this). But not an entire gold tooth, like some people get in our parts—just a frame. You can also encounter this attractive look on men, but somewhat less often.

The temporary road barriers look like 8-bit monsters.

The street lights are the same throughout all of Central America.

For some reason, all the license plates say 2004, even though they were clearly issued at different times. Most plates are enclosed in thick plastic frames.

All types of criminal activity are incredibly well-developed in the country, from harmless all-encompassing corruption to highly organized gangs. Gangs sometimes occupy entire neighborhoods where the police won’t set foot (something similar also exists in Brazil). But Guatemala has the highest crime rate among all the Central American nations. Your chances of being mugged in the capital are no lower than in Johannesburg. There are pictograms everywhere telling you that entry into shops and onto public transport with ice cream or weapons is prohibited.

Just about everything possible is bolted down. Electricity meters are behind bars.

Intercoms are locked up.

Manhole covers will be stolen immediately if they’re not protected.

There are armed security guards everywhere. Every more or less populated place is manned by a guard with a rifle. Banks have safes with windows and another guard inside the safe, who would be quite difficult to neutralize. You can see the construction I’m describing in the center of this picture (between the column and the doors).

The airport perimeter is guarded by armed soldiers.

The country’s chief brand is Gallo beer. It’s represented everywhere.

This same beer is the sponsor of Christmas and New Year’s. All the Christmas trees in the country are topped with a rooster’s head. The Christmas dove doesn’t dilute brand value.

There are some municipal holiday motifs as well. They’re easily distinguished by the governmental boldness with which the reindeer and pine wreaths obstruct road signs.

Coca-Cola is sold in three-liter bottles.

Eggs cartons with 30 eggs are wrapped in branded packaging and shrink wrap.

Ice cream push carts resemble industrial vacuum cleaners (like in Venezuela). They all have bells. If you hear bells jingling, you know ice cream is on its way.

Rural residents wear traditional dress.

Children are carried around in slings. This, by the way, is the first sign of an underdeveloped country (super-trendy euromommies aside). Because as soon as a country (like the neighboring Honduras, for instance) attains a certain standard of civilization, mothers immediately transfer their children to strollers or simply begin carrying them around in their arms.

Almost all the buses in the country have a luggage rack on the roof. This is also convenient and also not something you ever encounter in developed countries.

Almost all the buses (except the “new” models) are American school buses. There are no harder and more uncomfortable seats in existence. These coffins on wheels are also widely used in all the neighboring countries.

A bus stop sign.

In addition to the regular police force, Guatemala also has traffic police. Their brand color is green. Traffic officers wear uniforms with green panels on the front.

And place green traffic cones along the roads.

They ride around on motorcycles with green beacon lights, clad in green safety vests.

And in green cars with green flashers.

A Guatemalan digger.

A kilometer marker with the route number inside a shield outline.

Speed bump signs come in many varieties.

The shopping mall parking lot has a parking spot reserved for pregnant women. The “Futura Mama” sign displays the familiar symbol of a stork with a baby, while the pictogram on the pavement depicts a stork carrying a baby bottle. I’ve never seen anything like it before.