GuernseyMap
November Guernsey and Jersey were the only British territories occupied by the Germans during World War II. The Nazis committed horrible atrocities here, as can be expected of Nazis—they made everyone drive on the right side of the road. They didn’t actually kill anyone, but as soon as the British Crown got rid of the occupants, left-hand driving was restored.  And World War I hasn’t been forgotten here, either—there are fairly fresh flowers on little crosses with names and photographs at the foot of the monument.  Guernsey is similar to Jersey in many ways—it’s also an island, also effectively belongs to Britain, is also located off the coast of France, also prints its own pounds sterling, and is also a separate state.  How charming—British-issue post boxes, but painted blue to be different.  The blue motif continues onto the payphones.  The signature local detail is a doghouse-like alcove for shoes equipped with a decrottoir (a metal scraper to remove shit and mud from shoe soles), more or less like those in Belgrad.  The license plates have no single standard and look hideous.  The local alternative to a traffic light is a so-called filter. This is when cars from two different lanes merge into one by taking alternate turns. One, two, one, two.  A trash can for cigarette butts.  The main trash can.  A trash can with recycling compartments.  An old police lantern.  An old water pump.  In some places, it looks almost like Riga.  A little public garden.  The sidewalks are paved with highly pleasing brick tiles with a fine diamond pattern.  Like in Jersey, it’s fashionable to put in antique-style glass panes with a solidified droplet here. As though a way to make smooth ones hadn’t been invented yet.  A fantastic holiday called Tennerfest is held here every November (the name comes from the word "tenner"—a ten-pound bill). Almost every restaurant offers a set menu for ten pounds which would cost at least twice as much otherwise.  The bust of Daniel de Lisle Brock (Bailiff of Guernsey in the mid-19th century) is wearing panties.  A pedestrian.  A cow.  Schoolgirls.  A narrow street.  A wider street.  Preparations for Christmas.  A chain with spikes to prevent people from sitting on it.  A bowed streetlamp.  A Guernsey bus.  Shop entrances here are also recessed like in Jersey, but in addition to this the storefronts are usually rounded.  A local museum will hand you the keys to the Victoria Tower (named in honor of the queen who once sailed by here with a visit). You can go and unlock the tower, turn on the lights, ascend to the top, and take in the view.  Beautiful.  A notice is posted in taxis warning passengers that they must inform the driver immediately if they feel unwell. The driver will pull over right away to let the passenger puke on the roadside. If the passenger fails to warn the driver in time, he’ll incur a fine of up to 300 pounds in addition to the cost of cleaning the car’s interior.  |
