Alma-Ata

Map

November 11–13, 2005

There was a toilet for female, male, and neuter patrons in the Air Astana Boeing.

The mountains are the only sight worth seeing in this town, that’s just how it is. The mountains are magnificent; the city sits on an even slope below.

The concepts “higher” and “lower” form the basis of navigation. The streets are designed like a grid, which explains why people say addresses in the New York style: “on Kabanbai batyr and Pushkin”.

The road signs in the centre all hang on rectangular plates, irrespective of the their actual shape.

They’ve dug aryks, or small aqueducts, along the streets.

Sure enough, every taxi driver will ask whether you’ve seen the main square, which has the Independence monument in it. A short history of Kazakhstan in pictures surrounds the monument. For instance, here are the events of 1986:

Branded postboxes remain something of a rarity.

Payphone.

Street cash machine.

Rubbish bin.

For rubbish

Someone had the brilliant idea of using a bank logo resembling the hands of a clock as a clock face.

The city cable car takes you up above the city to a monument of an apple, out of which water flows. I’ll leave it to readers to picture what it looks like and where the water flows from.

Prophylaxis

An unmissable part of the tour is going up to the Medeu alpine rink and inspecting the mudflow dam.

In the centre of town there’s a monument to Panfilov’s heroes (a group of soldiers who took part in the Battle of Moscow during WWII), which bears the inscription “Russia is vast, but there is nowhere to retreat to. Moscow is back there”.

It’s common knowledge that political commissar Klochkov, who was one of Panfilov’s men, uttered these words shortly before he met his death. The remainder of Panfilov’s men perished in that same battle. It doesn’t say who was there to hear and write down the quote.

The cable car goes past the construction site of yet another block of elite apartments — a flat here costs about as much as it does in Moscow. In that sense, they will not cede an inch.

The country is getting ready to elect the existing president. But you do come across alternative candidates’ campaign posters.

I couldn’t pass up the chance to see the new Kazakh blockbuster called “Koshpendiler”. The film isn’t about drug dealers, it’s about the inception of the Kazakh special forces and also about nomads. Things only work out when at long last they gather around a palace, which they couldn’t possibly lug around with them.