Caga TioMapDecember 9–10, 2014 Catalonia has a very special Christmas tradition. ![]() At the beginning of December, a small log appears in every house. ![]() Or, in some places, a big log. ![]() They’re everywhere. ![]() This log is called Tió. It’s available for sale in every Catalan supermarket alongside other holiday merchandise. ![]() Tió has a distinctive smiley face on one end of the log, with a distinctive nose and eyes. ![]() Tió always has a little red beret and a blanket covering his back. ![]() Tió has two front legs. ![]() He comes in sizes for every taste. ![]() Much like the snowman’s, Tió’s image varies very little. ![]() The Catalan tradition consists of the following. Every night, children are supposed to feed Tió candy. If a child has been misbehaving, Tió might not eat. But usually he eats everything. On Christmas Eve, Tió must be beaten with a stick to make him poop out sweets. Catalan children do this while singing scatological songs with the words “Shit, log!” Good children’s logs will produce a shitload of candy. (This doesn’t cancel out normal Christmas presents provided by normal saints.) ![]() In some places, children beat the crap out of a massive log on the town square. ![]() It should be noted that the figure of the shitter is an archaic one and common all throughout Catalonia. ![]() Everybody shits. ![]() Farmers and athletes. ![]() Soccer players. ![]() Bob Marley, Madonna and Freddie Mercury. ![]() Fidel, Putin, Queen Elizabeth and Berlusconi. ![]() Everyone without exception shits, from Darth Vader to Kenny. ![]()
It’s unsurprising that Tió also shits alongside the rest. He has a Catalan ribbon around his neck. Shit, log! |
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