The Falklands. Part I. East Falkland

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December 5–7, 2013

The United Kingdom has a large number of overseas territories—from Gibraltar to Pitcairn, from the Cayman Islands to Anguilla. The full list would take up another page. The Crown doesn’t particularly give a farthing about all these territories. They’re far away, inhabited by poor people, and there’s nothing to do there. Some islands are lucky enough to be in a warm part of the world (say, Turks and Caicos), so they have hotels lining their shores. But generally the overseas territories’ inhabitants will gladly tell you how they’ve never seen the UK concern itself about them one way or the other.

The Falklands—tiny islands at the very bottom of South America, off the shore of Argentina—were also a useless possession for Great Britain. The climate is wretched and there are no natural resources to speak of. All they’ve got is penguins and sheep.

Argentina was doing really poorly in 1982, so in order to raise the souring prestige of its regime, it invaded the Falklands with its troops and military equipment. The Brits were taken aback by the impudence, but decided to rise to the occasion and bolster their own authority as well. So they sent their ships to drive out the invaders. And succeeded. Many British soldiers found out that the Falklands aren’t actually next to Great Britain— they’re practically by Antarctica. People in other countries simply found out that the Falklands exist.

If the Argentinians had really wanted the islands, all they would’ve had to do is send a ship with a few hundred Hispanic women. It would have only taken a couple of years for the islands to hold a referendum and decide to become part of Argentina.

The British maintain a large military base here and do their best to show that they don’t abandon their own. The military lives separately from the civilians.

War is the daily rhetoric, the main tourist attraction and the meaning of the islands’ existence.

Rocks spell out the names of illustrious warships along the shoreline.

Even in a remote village, tourists should have zero doubt that this is truly British territory.

The Argentinians call the islands the Malvinas, but they’ve missed the boat.

A flag and Christmassy decorations on the walls of a village hall.

The ceiling at a bar.

The gorse is the prettiest thing on the islands.

The main detail here is cattle grids on the roads, which prevent cattle from wandering off their pastures. The animals aren’t capable of getting past a couple of meters of metal grates because of the gaps between the bars, while cars can easily drive over them. Iceland and Namibia have the same system.

A people’s monument has formed by the side of the road to the capital. There’s a tradition of putting up old shoes on sticks here—everyone comes and puts theirs up. It has zero meaning, but everyone likes it.

Stanley

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Although the Falklands are located god knows where, they managed to take part in WWI and WWII. The photo below shows a monument to the soldiers of 1982, which is immediately obvious from the horrendous text layout. No one had the gall to put spaces like that between words until the last quarter of the 20th century. The wall’s brickwork is also hideous.