OdessaMapAugust 23–24, 2005 A unique city. This story cannot convey all of Odessa’s local colour — from the signs and the architecture, to the locals’ intonations and mannerisms. After the plane landed a welcome party lined up in the shade of its wing — cleaning ladies, a border control officer with dog in tow, and a technician. It was hot.  I came here when I was about 15 years old. What I remembered from that trip is that all of the streets look like unbroken green tunnels. This turned out to be accurate.  A train of independence day demonstrators disappeared into the distance of one of the tunnels.  The traffic lights here are lovely.  Locals think that the law stipulating that all signs must be written in Ukrainian should be stuck where the sun don’t shine.  Let’s feast like the gods! What’s more is, they think it should’ve been stuck there a long time ago.  Windows made by a Ukrainian * American Joint Venture There are monuments everywhere.  You should have an unrelenting desire to pose for photographs.  If you don’t have a camera, why not buy a mug for every occasion. 
Constantine bought me a limousine, But how are we to pay for petrol? If you want more highbrow culture, they’ve got it covered.  Every sign is masterpiece in its own right. 
Price list Even job ads are written without any of that idiotic KVN-style humour (KVN is a televised comedy competition that’s been running since Soviet times). 
Salespeople wanted Size-wise the rubbish bins in the central streets are like those olive tins you get in restaurants.  Payphones.  Business is booming. 
Available for sale |
