Italy

May 5–12, 2003

Rome

Rome hasn’t changed all that much since last year. The city remains very interesting on account of the creative works of the masters who removed all that was superfluous from marble.

Florence

The trading bridge in Florence is wonderful. It’s like a duty-free shop crossed with a bazaar. But there isn’t anything to buy there — only jewellery.

The works of Florentine glassblowers gladden the eye.

The elegant sculptures on Florence’s streets showcase the rich diversity of the human anatomy.

Half of the views and spectacular sights are only visible to those who constantly tilt their head back.

Pisa

Pisa was disappointing. The city is nothing to write home about, nor does the tower differ in the slightest from one you’ve seen photos of. It looks exactly as it is shown. As far as I can tell the only people who actually visit Pisa are Russians — the only place in Italy you can find that many Russians per square metre is at the airport right before boarding.

There’s a special plumb line installed right next to the tower, camouflaged to look like a jib crane. The plumb line helps determine how of out plumb the tower is.

It costs 15€ to go up the tower before 19:00. A Russian coupled climbed the 294 steps to the top together with the author of these lines (— Honey, get a pic of me next to this column!). Barely two minutes had passed since we got to the top before a carabiniere arrived and executed a series of gestures: pointed at the clock, made an “X” shape with his arms, then pointed downwards. The paterfamilias summarised his impression of the difficult climb up the spiral staircase and the short break on the platform: “Bloody hell. Not only to they make you pay through the nose, but afterwards they kick you out!”

Chianti

After Pisa we went back to Florence, which, as luck would have it, is located in the Chianti region. The locals make a living making wine and wining tourists.

Signs bearing a black rooster dot the roadside. It’s the Chianti producers’ association symbol. Some American company won a lawsuit granting it exclusive rights to the phrase “Gallo nero”, which is why all the association can do is draw a rooster, it cannot actually use the words.

Tucked away behind the sign is the house of one such winemaker. He’ll gladly sell you a bottle (or a case) and even let you sample the wine (which is a bit like fizzy drink — but it can’t be helped, it’s Chianti) in a room resembling a morgue.

Milan

Everyone says that there’s nothing to see in Milan. And yet there’s something put on display there every two minutes. Milan is the city of optical illusions. Half of them you can buy (fur coats, gold); the other half is no longer for sale (temples, cathedrals). See if you can spot both the live and the marble humans in this photo.

The unassuming Santa Maria presso San Satiro church is tucked away behind a fence on Torino Street. For some reason the architect, Donato Bramante, was not given the opportunity to build a proper wing behind altar, so he drew one.

The distance behind the altar is neither ten, nor five metres — it’s a mere ninety centimetres. You will not believe it until you see it up close. It’s seriously trippy.

At this point the May public holidays ended and my trip drew to a close.