USA. Part VI. Chicago—New YorkMapJanury 1924, 2008 ChicagoMapStern. Cold. Austere. Grim. Supercity. If the fascists had gotten as far as Mars, they would have built Chicago. Here everyone has to wear skintight latex and must not smile. Here the kerbs are made of steel. ![]() They don’t have any signs perpendicular to the flow of traffic — that way nothing distracts the eye. Only signs that are modest, small and on building facades are permitted. ![]() “McDonald’s” — like a crematorium. ![]() This street makes you want to march down it demanding motor oil. ![]() This back alley, very neat and lit even in the daytime, makes you want to get shot by gansters driving a car with a curved roof. ![]() At zero hour rising arm barriers will block the streets and bridges. ![]() In parts Chicago looks kind of like highly concentrated Stalin-era Moscow. ![]() The future of large cities — parking lots spanning the bottom twenty floors of buildlings. ![]() They’re filling the city with meta-information, giving some streets a second name. Here’s one example. ![]() DaytonMapThis is where they invented the electric cash register. Also, the Wright brothers lived here. Before building airplanes they fixed bicycles and freelanced a little. Here, for instance, is a sample menu typeset by the brothers. ![]() They didn’t have computers back then, so every letter had to be arranged by hand. It goes without saying that the technology did not allow for typesetting the letters along a curve. Thus this specimen can be rightfully considered a masterpiece. * * * Somewhere between Dayton and Cleveland the cars in the oncoming lanes dried up all of a sudden, whilst traffic heading in the same direciton as us practically ground to a halt. A helicopter hovered in the sky up ahead. Based on its position we concluded that the cause of the congestion was fairly far off. It turned out to be a crash involving two cars, as well as jeep and a truck. Everyone driving behind the cars that crashed had to stop. Meanwhile, the cars on our side of the road just stopped to have a look out of curiousity. All drivers going past such scenes spend about thirty or so extra seconds thinking about the meaning of life, following which they accelerate and turn up the sound on the radio. ![]() ClevelandMapCleveland. Cleveland. Cleveland is Cleveland. ![]() BuffaloMapIn all likelihood these days not even the locals will be able to tell you why they decided to build a couple of high-rises in this shithole. ![]() Niagara FallsMap
I’ve already visited a town of the same name, except that that was in the summertime and in Canada. American Niagara Falls is located across the river from the Canadian one. Strictly speaking, they also have Niagara waterfalls here. ![]() It’s a shame that all of the decent hotels are on the Canadian side. The US side is much less holiday-oriented — everyone goes across the river anyway, plus Americans don’t need a visa to do so.
It was cold outside and when I walked into the hotel and as a consequence I was met by a petrified manager who asked me to take my hands out of my pockets three times. The first two times around I simply didn’t get what he was asking for. It turns out I could have had a gun in my coat pocket. The river, beautiful and proud, carries its icy waters to a 50 metre high precipice. ![]() It’s chilly and desolate here at this time of year. ![]() BostonMap
A city with a pleasant combination of buildlings new and old. Or rather a city that actually has old buildlings. ![]() The metro is funny — it’s an underground tram, just like in Volgograd. ![]() A very Bostonian site — a fire alarm birdhouse decorated with a red light atop a pole. ![]() You find these birdhouses in other cities too (in New York and San Francisco for sure), but none of them have lights on top of them. ![]() HarvardMapCompared to Stanford, this place is literally Europe. The buildlings are nice and there aren’t any palm trees growing on campus. Over the course of his studies every Harvard student must run stark naked through the university courtyard, piss on the left shoe of the guy sitting on the pedestal marked John Harvard, and there’s also a third thing which I can’t quite recall. Tourists unfamiliar with student traditions feel it’s their duty rub the aforementioned shoe for luck. ![]() New York againMap
Farewell glance at the city of sin, then flight to Moscow. ![]() * * * In 24 days I drove 15 thousand kilmetres (despite the fact that I hung around in for five days in each Las Vegas and San Francisco) at an average speed of 100km/h. Driving on American roads you feel like a red blood cell coursing through blood vessels. This feeling is heightened by the fact that on American roads there are hardly any signs telling you what town you’re currently passing through (there are signs directing you all the way to the turn-off for a specific street in the town you’re in, they just don’t specify what town that actually is). ![]() By the way, a long haul truck driver with three years of experience can expect to earn 53 cents per mile. That means that if I’d had a trailer hooked onto the back of my car on this trip, I would have earned about four and half thousand US dollars by now. |
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USA. VI. Chicago—NYC
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