New YorkMapApril 5–7, 2014 People in New York like to park a matzo’s width apart.  They’re also phenomenally bad at parking.  That’s why everyone’s rear bumpers look like crap here. It’s the same thing in Paris.  Some people are particularly unlucky.  The thing is, New Yorkers tend to ram into everyone else’s behind without any concern for their own front. Some people cover their license plates with spikes for this purpose.  Other, less aggressive individuals buy a thick rubber plate frame that doubles as a bumper guard. This thing lets you safely kiss the ass of the car in front of you without suffering any consequences.  BumpShox.  The other half of the city’s residents take a different approach. They protect their behinds. Can anyone outside New York imagine a rear bull bar? To protect from what? Here, this is perfectly OK.  Most drivers just protect their bumpers with rubber sheets.  You can’t walk a few hundred feet without seeing another guardian of his own behind.  Of course, particularly ruthless car owners simply weld on a protruding tow ball. Try bumping that.  Rubber bumper protectors everywhere.  Everywhere.  If someone imagined New York to be some sort of ideal city, I’m about to disappoint them. Here’s the Apple flagship store on Fifth Avenue. There’s a sea of hot dog stands directly in front of it. That’s real life for you.  |
